My Wake Up Call

Well if i was still waiting for a wake up call to get myself back into a healthy eating and exercise routine this is it.

This picture was taken on the 19th of march , my b.day, and il be totally honest with you, i cried when i saw it.
What scared me was that i didnt recognise the person looking back at me, this bloated and aged women couldnt possibly be me, or could it ?.

I realised just how far id let myself go, not intentionally as i always dress well, wear make up and do my hair, but my soul seems to be missing from behind my eyes. (the eyes being the window to the soul )

I have never kidded myself about being something im not, ive been a big girl for a long time, but i still felt pretty healthy and radiated with a fun personality and good skin ect, only this lady simply isnt how i see myself.

It made me think hard about where i am at the moment in my life, the loss of my son has and probably will remain to take its toll for some time, and it has changed my appearence big time in such a short time.

Not only have i been eating my anxiety, but ive lost a lot of the zest in my life, knocking the wind out of my sails and causing me to age very quickly and feel rather lethargic due to so many tears that still plague me every day.

I try my best to hide how i feel behind my make up, but i cant hide my body or my lifeless eyes so now is the time to try my best to get a grip and take back my life.
Im not kidding myself itl be easy, nor am i promising itl work right away, but at least i can try to stay focussed and give it a go.

As of tommorow im going to try to eat more sensible and il try to do 30 minutes of exercise daily, il be using my wii fit and just dance for now, just to get me back into the habit of exercising, but allowing it to be fun other than a chore so that i dont bore to easily.

So wish me luck and il keep you posted as i go along with my progress ups and downs xxx